The Fisherman in our Family

Fishie, fishie in the brook (AKA Salem Pond)

Parker caught him with a hook (& using a worm)

Mommy fried it in a pan (NOT - that thing is SCARY looking, I'm not going to touch it!)

and Parker ate him like a man!! (again NOT - but the neighbor who does like catfish gave Parker $5 for it!)

So last week Parker went fishing with his Uncle Brent, grandma and Paxton and came home with this monster. Ugly looking huh? None of the rest of them got a bite.

Yesterday Parker and Brent went fishing again and he came home with another one. Once again Brent didn't get a bite. Parker is convinced his dad is helping him catch these fish - you know, I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case. He's pretty proud of himself and comes home with the biggest grin on his face. It is neat to see how good he's doing when he goes fishing!

This Year's Father's Day

I wanted to do something memorable with the boys on Father's Day - something we could make a tradition each year now that Eric is no longer with us. What I did was have the boys write notes to Eric. Then we attached the notes to some balloons and went up to the cemetery on Father's Day morning and the boys released their balloons with messages attached into the air for their dad to get.

Their notes were heartfelt and sweet. I had Paxton tell me what to write & he drew some pictures on the opposite side of his notes. One of his messages said:

"Dad - I love you!" The other was the Barney song that he was singing & wanted me to write down to his dad, he sang it like this: "I love you dad, you love me, we're a great big family. With a great big hug & a kiss from me to you, I love you - Paxton." The last one I had to prompt him for things to say like "Happy Father's Day, I miss you and love you so much. You are the best dad. Love, Paxton"

Parker wrote is own - he said "Will you see me again soon dad? Do you miss me too? From Parker, Paxton and mom." The 2nd one said "I will miss you dad. I hope you have seen your dad too. From Parker, Paxton and mom." The last one said "Dad - I love you so much. I will never forget you dad. I hope I see you again soon or later. If I see you again I will say I love you dad so much. I will see you again. I will miss you so much dad. From Parker, Paxton & mom." They each said something to their dad as they were releasing their balloons and we watched them go higher and higher into the sky until we could see them no longer. I'm sure Eric got their messages of love.

We also left a Happy Father's Day balloon and a card at his grave with a pic of the boys & Eric together.

The day before the boys went to a church primary activity where they painted an apron for their dad. They decided to give their apron to their poppy (my dad.) and he wore it BBQing for us later that day. I forgot to take a picture of the boys with him & the apron but do have this pic with poppy & my nephew Bridjer & you can see the apron. It also has each kid's handprint on it along with things like "I love you" and "I love you dad."

We spent the afternoon at my parent's house with the rest of the family for a BBQ. My dad is such a wonderful man! I'm so glad he's my dad and proud of the great example he sets to me and the boys. I hope he had a good Father's Day. He continues to do so much for me and the boys whether it's going to Parker's baseball games, setting him up for some private pitching lessons, coming over early Sat mornings to tend so I can go to spin class, figuring out the combination to Eric's safe so we could open it, or fixing my sprinkler heads, he does whatever he can to help.

I admire my dad's strong testimony of the gospel and was so impressed with the talk he gave at Eric's funeral. It strengthened my own testimony to hear what he testified of. He had such nice memories to share about Eric as well and has really been affected & touched by Eric's death.

My dad always had a good relationship with Eric and really loved him. Eric loved and respected my dad and was very helpful and thoughtful towards my parents all the time. My dad baptized Eric back in March 2004 when he joined the church. My dad used to take Eric with him to the Priesthood session every General Conference (even before he joined the church.) My dad taught Eric how to tie a tie. About a month or 6 weeks before Eric died he had my dad show him again how to do it since he hadn't worn one in a while and had forgotten how to do it. I gave a few of Eric's ties to my dad - the one Eric wore the day he was baptized and the one he wore when we went to the temple since those had the most sentimental value.

Happy Father's Day to Eric, my Dad, and brothers Jerry & Sam! I love you all and appreciate all you do for me and the boys!

14 Year Anniversary

Well today (June 10th) marks mine and Eric's 14 year anniversary. It has been a quiet day around here and given me a chance to reflect on the last 14 years with Eric (we dated at least 3 years before getting married so we've been together around 17 years actually.) I visited the cemetery and left him some red roses - first time I've ever given my husband flowers. I used to get after him for wasting money on flowers for me. Now as I get older I appreciate getting flowers and thoughtful gestures like that so I feel bad I ever complained about it.
It's been a little over 3 weeks since his car accident. Last year at this time for our anniversary we were in Vail, Colorado attending Eric's cousin's wedding and then vacationing at Eric's parent's condo. Here are some pics from last year, compared to this year. Crazy how life can change in the blink of an eye.
Then:


Now:

If I can pass on any advice to any of you that I have learned through this (and learned it the hard way unfortunately,) is this: make sure that if you have "words" with your loved ones that you make it right before the day is over. Don't be prideful or think you need the last word. Apologize so all is good between you. You never know if it will be your last word or day with them, and don't you want your and their last memory to be a positive one? I'll admit I had "words" with Eric just 1 hr before his accident. I was the one upset and getting after Eric. I know he has forgiven me and knows I was just upset at Paxton getting hurt. He and Eric had had a scooter accident which is why I was picking Paxton up because he was all cut/scraped up all over his elbows, forehead, knees, finger and was crying and wanting to come home. I was just being a protective mom, upset about her baby being hurt.
But as I think about things I realize that the scooter accident was a blessing in disguise. Otherwise Paxton would have been with Eric the rest of the night and if Eric had still decided to go to Walmart to get milk (as he did alone) then Paxton would have been in the accident with him as well. On top of it Parker was also supposed to be there that night but had a birthday party until 9pm. I just think the fact that both boys were supposed to be with Eric and things came up (at the last minute in Paxton's case) to where BOTH of them weren't, that someone was watching over my boys. Someone knew what sad thing was going to happen and made it so Eric was alone and didn't have his boys with him. Don't get me wrong - it's a sad, sad, thing to have lost Eric this way and I'd love to change it if I could. I just am realizing it could have been so much worse if the boys had been with him as planned.
In just a short time after the funeral we've had Memorial Day, the Father/Son's outing, now our 14 yr anniversary, and this Sunday is Father's Day. I think the "first" everything w/out him is going to be hard, sad, weird, melancholy, quiet, reflective, etc.
I feel sad for my 2 boys to grow up without a dad in their lives - he involved them in everything he did, taught them so much and loved them so much. We are lucky to have good male role models around the boys - from the ward, neighborhood and of course in my wonderful brothers & dad, but it's still not the same as their own dad. Eric is greatly missed by all!